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Zombies, War and Sharp Pointy Sticks: Why Men Must Knit

There is a technique, passed down through generations, which has provided for mankind’s survival since ancient times. Long ago, exclusive male-only guilds toiled for years as apprentices to master this art alongside the like of blacksmiths and carpenters, for this skill was used to serve all from the lowest peasant to the highest king. Amazingly, only the very basic sets of implements were required, consisting mostly of sharpened sticks in various sizes. Even today there is much demand for its products, and the most popular stories we tell often include its artisans – giants of men toiling in difficult conditions, for example, or underground efforts to free slaves.

Yet this incredible talent is under attack. Its very tools are banned from air travel, and men daring to learn it often do so in secret – knowing that they will be met with derision and scorn by the very people who benefit from the craft every day. Yet they must continue to work – for if it were to vanish, lives may very well be lost. It has won wars, but the masses ignorantly mock its name.

We call it “knitting”.

And though the above is a little over the top dramatically, it is all true.

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